Sunday, March 1, 2009

I have never been good at expressing my feelings and usually keep them to myself but I am having such a hard time. I am feeling so angry at that my Dad had to be taken away from us so soon. You know everybody keeps saying that it was his time to go that he had completed his time here on earth but I keep have that angry feeling about us what about us his family that has been left here without him??? How do I go on without him here for me, to talk to me, to help me, to be there when I need him? Maybe I am just being selfish but it is not fair that Heavenly Father would do something like this to me to my family. I hate the thought of my mom having to be home alone by herself especially at night not being able to have my dad there with her just his presence being there knowing that she is not alone and there is somebody else in the house with her. I have been told that I need to have faith but how can I when I tried to have faith in the hospital that he would get better and Heavenly Father still took him away from me! How is it every going to get any easier knowing that is going to be so long until I see him? I really don't see how people who have gone through something like this keep going. It is always on my mind I try to keep busy so that I don't think about it as often but it is so hard. I miss him so much!!! This really sucks! Dad you were the best Dad that anybody could ask for your kindness and caring for other the way you loved us and our kids. I don't think that I ever told you enough how much I appreciated everything that you did for me I love you so much!


  1. Tricia, anger is normal, just don't let it take over for too long, and don't waste your time asking "Why?" We really don't need to know why, and we probably still wouldn't understand until we cross the veil ourselves. I wasted WAY TOO MUCH TIME not learning these lessons and I only made myself miserable. Just live your life like your dad lived his and watch the days and weeks and years fly by. You'll see him soon enough.

    Love you guys!

  2. I love you, too Tricia. I have zero experience, and will never say, "I know what you're going through." But I do know that it is healthy to find ways to express your overpowering emotions. Feelings are real, and really powerful. I know you will find a way to find peace, even if we don't get understanding behind all the "why" questions, there is peace. Hope you have fun with Robbie. ODAAT IS A GREAT MANTRA! But "Men are that they might have joy" is a good one too. Your dad personified a GOOD TIME, and in time, you'll find ways to honor that legacy and find the joy in living again! I love, love, love you!!