Dad's Headstone

Well yesterday was a hard day. Dads headstone was set and I guess that is just another step, the final step in saying that it really did happen. The headstone turned out beautiful thanks to mom. I know that it has been a very stressful thing to do making sure it came out the way she wanted it. I am not sure about anyone else but I think it is perfect. It really represents Dad and what he loved! It was really nice being able to be there with the whole family. Thank you to all of you and your support through this. It really helps to know that we have such great and loving friends. I love you Dad!!!
Love Tricia
"ODAAT"(thanks Robbie)

Happy Father's Day

I miss you Dad.

Thank You!

I just wanted to tell everybody thank you for all your love and support through this difficult time, it means so much. I have been busy taking care of lots of paper work and trying to adjust to this new way of living. I am so thankful for my family and all the loving support that they give me. It is good to have spring time coming and being able to see the flowers blooming and hear the birds sing. Each day is a new challange and I have certainly learned a lot. I know that Heavenly Father loves us and that Ted is not far away. Thank you all again.
~Shirley

ODAAT

I'm sitting at the airport waiting for my flight to Salt Lake and i have to admit I'm scared to death. This will be the first time I've gone back since dad died 2 months ago. I'm so afraid to walk into the house like i always have and find him sitting in his chair watching TV...like he always did. I'm afraid to wake up on the couch where i always slept (even though there were plenty of empty beds) and hearing him say "Hey Bert! How about some waffs?" (short for waffles) He had such a funny way of abbreviating everything. I have a feeling that the reality of his death will finally hit me. I've done pretty well at holding myself together...or at least better than i thought i would. I'm nervous to go to the cemetery and most of all, afraid to break down in front of mom. In spite of the fear of all these things, i am so excited to see my family. I miss them terribly and feel so far away. I think this trip is going to pretty emotional but i'm counting on the happy to outweigh the sad.

I've adopted a new motto for myself and have gone so far as to write it on the inside of wrist every morning at work so i can see it all the time: ODAAT - One Day At A Time

Fingers crossed.

I have never been good at expressing my feelings and usually keep them to myself but I am having such a hard time. I am feeling so angry at that my Dad had to be taken away from us so soon. You know everybody keeps saying that it was his time to go that he had completed his time here on earth but I keep have that angry feeling about us what about us his family that has been left here without him??? How do I go on without him here for me, to talk to me, to help me, to be there when I need him? Maybe I am just being selfish but it is not fair that Heavenly Father would do something like this to me to my family. I hate the thought of my mom having to be home alone by herself especially at night not being able to have my dad there with her just his presence being there knowing that she is not alone and there is somebody else in the house with her. I have been told that I need to have faith but how can I when I tried to have faith in the hospital that he would get better and Heavenly Father still took him away from me! How is it every going to get any easier knowing that is going to be so long until I see him? I really don't see how people who have gone through something like this keep going. It is always on my mind I try to keep busy so that I don't think about it as often but it is so hard. I miss him so much!!! This really sucks! Dad you were the best Dad that anybody could ask for your kindness and caring for other the way you loved us and our kids. I don't think that I ever told you enough how much I appreciated everything that you did for me I love you so much!
~Tricia~

Happy Birthday Dad

I Love You.

-Robbie

Letter To Dad

Letter to Dad:
Dear Dad,
If only I would have written you this letter last month (41 days ago to be exact); you would have been here to read it. I can't even express in words the love that I feel for you but I think you know. My heart aches not having you here by my side. I'm so proud to have you as my Dad and I am so greatful to have such a wonderful father whose love is endless. Your smile can brighten a room, your voice can make anyone's day complete, and you hugs made me feel loved and appricated. On January 3rd I came to your house and we shared a quick hello, you stood by the car door as we left, smiling until the door shut and that smile has not left me. At that moment I never thought that it would have been the last time I saw you smiling. I love you Dad with all my heart and I'm so thankful for your wonderful example and your endless love for me. You are awesome, You're the best, You rock, and you are my best friend!!
I love you Dad and I miss you so so much!

Love, "Brown Lindsey"

February 1, 2009

February 1, 2009- I'm struggling! There have been days when I know Dad is there comforting me, but for the most part I'm struggling. I feel so far away from my family. I try to go on everyday for my husband and kids but what I really want to do is crawl in a cocoon for about 6 months, I don't want to talk to anyone about it, and I don't want anyone to ask me anymore "How am I doing?" I know they mean well, but my heart starts to race and I cant breath! this happens to me all day long every day. I cant stop crying! & I cant stop hurting! I just want to hear his voice, or pass him on the road or have one last hug and slap on the back so hard it collapses a lung. I'm worrying terribly about our Mom being alone, I don't want her to be sad and alone @ the same time. I'm praying as much now as when I was in the hospital and reading my scriptures trying to find comfort in them. I feel a special closeness with Brian who has been an amazing support for me. As for today, another day of deep painful heartache. I miss my friend, secret keeper, mischief making negotiator, Dad. I wish you were here, I was not ready to let you go, I probably never would have been even if you lived until 100. Every second of every day are filled with thoughts of you. I know in time my heart will heal.
One things for sure! We are One Close Family! and there is a lot of love between us.
-Cheryl

January 26, 2009

I have not yet written on the blog so I thought that I would take this opportunity to thank all of the friends that came to dad's memorial on Saturday. It was wonderful to see all the friends and family that we have not seen in so long. Also a special thank you to all the people who helped with everything it is very much appreciated. I know that dad was smiling down on us that day and loved to see all the fun and memories about him and everybody eating the food that he loved! He truly made an impact on so many lives and will truly be missed. I love you dad and can't wait for the day that I will be able to see you again!!!
~Tricia~

January 19, 2009

Monday Jan 19, 2009: I haven't written on the blog since the first week while we were still in the hospital and Dad was still with us. Since then I just couldn't find the words to write. Being home is hard! much harder than I thought. Since I do not live in Utah leaving to come home to CA. made Dads passing so much more final. I feel so far away... Being together with all my siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends was a great strength! We shared many memories and tears together. Uncle Don & Uncle Jerry are a great strength for us, we are all so grateful they were there to be the strong ones for us to lean on. Giving the Eulogy for Dads funeral was a little scary but a tremendous Honor!
This week will keep us busy again as we plan for the memorial service here on Sat Jan 24,@ 11:00 at Bates Nut Farm.(pray for sunshine) It will be a fun day, come in your favorite "IN N OUT" t-shirt. I know once again we will be in awe of the number of lives our Dad touched.
In lieu of flowers, bring your favorite memory to share. See you Sat. and once again thank you from all of us for your overwhelming support!
-Cheryl

California Memorial Update

The memorial for Ted Allen McArthur will be held this saturday, January 24, 2009. The location has changed and will now be held at Bates Nut Farm in Valley Center, CA
15954 Woods Valley Road
Valley Center, Ca 92082
It will be from 11:00 AM - 1:00 PM.

January 15, 2009

January 15, 2009 - These past few days have been so busy. We have all been running in circles making plans for the funeral, trying to figure out Dad's filing system (good luck), visiting with family and friends and eating...and eating....and eating. It already seems so long ago that this whole thing happened but at the same time I'm not sure any of us really believe that it did. It's a strange feeling of just waiting to wake up and the bad dream will be over. But through it all, I am absolutely amazed at the love I feel FOR my family and friends as well as the love i feel FROM them. We went to the funeral home tonight to see Dad and have some time with our family. Although it was hard and very emotional, it was just as peaceful. The know that even though tomorrow, we will physically say "Goodbye" to Dad...emotionally and spiritually we will never have to let him go. He will be with us always only now, he can be with us all whenever and wherever we need him to be. I think everyone, at onme time or another, had the romantic notion of our own guardian angel but only now do I truly feel like I have mine. I guess this means I better be on my best behavior...*wink*

URL for Ted's Obituary

http://ads.heraldextra.com/obituaries/

California Memorial Service

There will be a memorial service held for Ted McArthur in Valley Center , California on January 24, 2009 from 11:00 AM- 1:00 PM.
The service will be held at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints ( 14826 Fruitvale Rd. Valley Center, CA 92082).

Thanks for all the love and support!
- Lindsey

Funeral Service

There will a funeral service held for Ted McArthur on Friday January 16, 2009 at 1:00 PM at the Lindon Center St. Building located at 731 East Center St. Lindon, UT 84042. Interment at Pleasant Grove City Cemetery 500 North 100 West Pleasant Grove, UT 84062.
-Lindsey

Memorial Service in California

A memorial service will be held for Ted McArthur in Valley Center, California sometime in the next few weeks. We will post the details as soon as they are finalized. Many thanks.

January 11, 2009

January 11, 2009 What a day. I don't think we have ever had so much food in one kitchen at the same time. Thank you to everyone who stopped by today with cookies, soup, rolls (the best i have EVER had =), Jello, chili, and everything else in between. This morning Marty, Suzanne, Wayne and Uncle John made enough eggs, potatoes, sausage, bacon and Belgium Waffles to feed an army. It was put to good use since we had a family-wide slumber party at mom and dad's house. Not an easy task with eight kids, their spouses and 20-something grandkids. I felt like i was back home in Time Square.

We are also extremely thankful for the outpouring of love and friendship from so many people. Its an amazing testament to the kind of man that Dad is. We have decided that the funeral will be held this Friday, January 16th. I will post specific time and location information as soon as it is decided. Once again, many many thanks to everyone. It's amazing how much we are able to feel your love.

-Robbie

January 10, 2009 Day Eight

January 10, 2009

At 11:22 pm, Ted McArthur passed away peacefully surrounded by his loving wife and family.  He was and  will continue to be an amazing husband, father, grandfather and friend who touched so many lives.  We are so blessed to have had this time with him.  Thank you for all of your love and support during this difficult time.  We love you Dad.

January 10, 2009 Day Eight

January 10, 2009 Once again, today was a day full of laughs and tears.  We have had many visitors come by to express their love and concern for Dad, Mom and the family.  Dads blood pressure dropped slightly but is now back to normal level as is his heart rate.  Brian McHale, Whitney McHale and Wayne Sanders arrived this evening from California to be with Cheryl and Jany.  Mom and Dads good friend Jackie Hampton and her husband arrived this morning which brought great comfort to Mom.  Carolyn Snowden surprised us with three trays of homemade cinnamon rolls at the hospital which, unfortunately did not last very long.  Thanks Carolyn.  We are getting ready to set up camp for the night so we can get some rest.  Heaven knows we all need it.

As a family, we have decided to reserve tomorrow (Sunday) as a day for the immediate family to spend with mom and dad.  We look forward to having a restful day with our family and respectfully encourage visits to continue on Monday.  We look forward to seeing you then.  Please feel free to fill our voice mails with messages and texts!  

-Robbie and Richie McArthur

January 9, 2009 Day 7

January 9, 2009 We have always known that our Dad has been a truly amazing man and he has been a great influence in all of our lives. But we have really been able to see the impact that he has had on so many people because of all the love and support we have received. We really appreciate all of the uplifting messages, comments, and support that have been left on the blog, facebook, emails, etc. We have enjoyed all those who have traveled so far and shared their fun memories and stories about dad. We have laughed a lot and we have cried a lot...but our family has grown so close and truly have felt the love of our Savior helping us to get through each day!

Mom is amazing; her strength and testimony is so strong!! Her Eternal perspective and encouraging words have been uplifting to all those around her. Words cannot explain the love that mom and dad have for each other. Each day we watch her tender compassion as she holds his hand and talks so sweetly to him. It's hard not to hear and receive council from him, but we know that he can hear us as we talk to him.

Earlier today, a woman came into dads room and played he harp for him for 30 minutes. It was beautiful and you could feel the peace of the Spirit through her music. There has been no real change but because the swelling has gone down on his brain, they were able to remove the probe that monitored the pressure. He is resting peacefully and the Doctors have assured us that he is not in any pain.
-Cathy & Lindsey

"We've laughed we've cried, we've made time fly, best friends we are my dad and I."

Thank You

Thank you to everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers for Dad and the family. Mom would like everyone to know just how much she appreciates all of the love and support from family and friends, near and far.

Sincerely,

The McArthur Family

January 8, 2009 Day 6

January 8, 2009 Today was a day filled with laughter, tears and silly reminiscing of good times. It has been fun to see all the people that are following our blog and joined our "Fans of Ted McArthur" club on facebook. The Doctor talked with us about putting in a "Tracheotomy" to help protect his airway and to make him more comfortable. He is still in a coma and there is still no sign of brain activity. We all feel that he is just hanging out with the angels and visiting for the time being. He has to come back to us, we still need him! Mom still needs him! We have limited the visitors going into his room to just family in order to keep his blood pressure down and brain pressure down. Mom is having a very hard time tonight, she has been so strong but this waiting is taking its toll.
Cheryl

While sitting in the waiting room it has given us time to do lots of thinking and reflect on our own lives, I have learned to really give thanks and show gratitude for everything even the smallest things, and patience is a lesson to all of us right now. I just am trying to hold tight to what we have been told" I never said it would be easy , I only said it would be worth it." I wanna thank everybody for there amazing support, prayers, fasting, laughs, memories and more. It means so much to my family.
Rachel

Doctors Notes - Still a coma and unresponsive, blood pressure is down slightly and slight decrease in brain pressure, still no sign of brain activity.

January 7, 2009 Day Five

January 7, 2009 Wow! I cant believe it has already been 5 days. It would seem like the days would drag on when you are just waiting for some sort of progress or positive sign but the days are flying by which is scary to me since we are on the fifth day and there is still no significant change although, the swelling has gone down in his face and his color looks good. It has been fun to see all the cousins, friends & relatives that we haven't seen in awhile. There is alot of love here and we believe in miracles! Thank you for your prayers.
-Cheryl

January 6, 2009 Day Four

January 6, 2009 I feel like I'm in the movie "Ground Hog Day". I keep waking up to the same thing over and over again. Again there hasn't been much change. The only real difference is the swelling in his face has gone down slightly. Although he is not as swollen, he still doesn't look like Dad to me. It's been very hard not to touch him, hold his hands or rub his feet (which Tricia is anxious to do since she is Dads personal pedicurist). We haven't been able to touch him much since it will cause too much stimulus for his body and cause his heart rate, blood pressure etc to get too high.We have tried to limit the number of visits to his room which has proved to be easier said than done. Its difficult to keep from going to see him but we also know limited activity is best at the moment. We have had a constant flow of wonderful family and friends stopping by to sit with us, keep us company and occupy our minds. Jimmy and Stephanie Tarantino, very close friends of Mom and Dad's from Valley Center, arrived today to see him. Jimmy and Dad have such a great friendship and I know that he is so happy to hear Jimmy's voice and know that he and Stephanie are close by.
There is still no prediction as to when he might wake up so here we sit in the waiting room that has become our new home. While some of us read, others update Facebook, and still others nap, we are reminded of the importance of family and how valuable our time together is. As a family we are still not sure what lessons we are to learn from this, but the one thing we do know is that nothing happens in vain. We will only become stronger.
-Robbie

January 5, 2009 Day Three

January 5, 2009 Today was a lot of the same. Nothing much has changed as far as Dad's condition. We have had a lot of visitors and more food than we could possibly eat. Thank you to everyone who has helped to comfort us with prayers, visitors, food and positive thoughts. We are extremely grateful to all those who continuously help our family's at home while we are not all together.
-Cheryl & Robbie

January 4, 2009 Day Two

January 4, 2009, Our entire family is now together. Cheryl & Jany arrived on an early flight this morning, our cousin Linda picked us up from the airport and took us directly to the hospital and right to Dads room. For me it was devastating to see him so helpless and hurt.Due to the increased swelling, bruising and bald head, He did not look like our Dad. There has been no change and he is still unresponsive. Today we will continue to fast and pray. We hold fast to the prayers and blessings that have been given. Mom is being VERY Strong! We love you Dad!
-Cheryl

January 3, 2009 Day One

January 3,2009 started out like any other Saturday for Dad, He had breakfast @ Richie & Suzanne's for Richie's 30Th birthday, sat and visited awhile then went home to put away the boxes from Christmas. Later that afternoon he went with Marty to do what he loves to do most "car shopping".
At approx 4:10 after returning from their test drive, Marty went to return the keys while Dad
headed over to look @ the next car. As Marty walked away he heard the thud and turned to see that Dad had slipped on the ice and fallen. Marty immediately yelled for someone to call 911, as he supported his head & tried to control the bleeding and keep him from choking as he was unconscious and throwing up. He was taken to American Fork Hospital still unconscious where he was given a CT Scan and the severity of his injuries assessed & then life flighted to Intermountain Medical Center where Mom, Cathy, Richie, Rachel & Lindsey,Dads brothers & sister along with extended family were waiting for him.
As we were gathered together with the Dr's we were told that without the surgery he would not make it and with the surgery there was a slight chance, and so at 8:00 after having a family prayer w/the Doctors he was taken into emergency surgery where he underwent a Craniotomy.
Two hours later Robbie arrived as the Doctors came out to tell us that he was stable but in a coma and the next 24 -48 hrs would be a indicator as to what the future may hold.
-The McArthur Kids