Letter To Dad

Letter to Dad:
Dear Dad,
If only I would have written you this letter last month (41 days ago to be exact); you would have been here to read it. I can't even express in words the love that I feel for you but I think you know. My heart aches not having you here by my side. I'm so proud to have you as my Dad and I am so greatful to have such a wonderful father whose love is endless. Your smile can brighten a room, your voice can make anyone's day complete, and you hugs made me feel loved and appricated. On January 3rd I came to your house and we shared a quick hello, you stood by the car door as we left, smiling until the door shut and that smile has not left me. At that moment I never thought that it would have been the last time I saw you smiling. I love you Dad with all my heart and I'm so thankful for your wonderful example and your endless love for me. You are awesome, You're the best, You rock, and you are my best friend!!
I love you Dad and I miss you so so much!

Love, "Brown Lindsey"

February 1, 2009

February 1, 2009- I'm struggling! There have been days when I know Dad is there comforting me, but for the most part I'm struggling. I feel so far away from my family. I try to go on everyday for my husband and kids but what I really want to do is crawl in a cocoon for about 6 months, I don't want to talk to anyone about it, and I don't want anyone to ask me anymore "How am I doing?" I know they mean well, but my heart starts to race and I cant breath! this happens to me all day long every day. I cant stop crying! & I cant stop hurting! I just want to hear his voice, or pass him on the road or have one last hug and slap on the back so hard it collapses a lung. I'm worrying terribly about our Mom being alone, I don't want her to be sad and alone @ the same time. I'm praying as much now as when I was in the hospital and reading my scriptures trying to find comfort in them. I feel a special closeness with Brian who has been an amazing support for me. As for today, another day of deep painful heartache. I miss my friend, secret keeper, mischief making negotiator, Dad. I wish you were here, I was not ready to let you go, I probably never would have been even if you lived until 100. Every second of every day are filled with thoughts of you. I know in time my heart will heal.
One things for sure! We are One Close Family! and there is a lot of love between us.
-Cheryl

January 26, 2009

I have not yet written on the blog so I thought that I would take this opportunity to thank all of the friends that came to dad's memorial on Saturday. It was wonderful to see all the friends and family that we have not seen in so long. Also a special thank you to all the people who helped with everything it is very much appreciated. I know that dad was smiling down on us that day and loved to see all the fun and memories about him and everybody eating the food that he loved! He truly made an impact on so many lives and will truly be missed. I love you dad and can't wait for the day that I will be able to see you again!!!
~Tricia~

January 19, 2009

Monday Jan 19, 2009: I haven't written on the blog since the first week while we were still in the hospital and Dad was still with us. Since then I just couldn't find the words to write. Being home is hard! much harder than I thought. Since I do not live in Utah leaving to come home to CA. made Dads passing so much more final. I feel so far away... Being together with all my siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends was a great strength! We shared many memories and tears together. Uncle Don & Uncle Jerry are a great strength for us, we are all so grateful they were there to be the strong ones for us to lean on. Giving the Eulogy for Dads funeral was a little scary but a tremendous Honor!
This week will keep us busy again as we plan for the memorial service here on Sat Jan 24,@ 11:00 at Bates Nut Farm.(pray for sunshine) It will be a fun day, come in your favorite "IN N OUT" t-shirt. I know once again we will be in awe of the number of lives our Dad touched.
In lieu of flowers, bring your favorite memory to share. See you Sat. and once again thank you from all of us for your overwhelming support!
-Cheryl

California Memorial Update

The memorial for Ted Allen McArthur will be held this saturday, January 24, 2009. The location has changed and will now be held at Bates Nut Farm in Valley Center, CA
15954 Woods Valley Road
Valley Center, Ca 92082
It will be from 11:00 AM - 1:00 PM.

January 15, 2009

January 15, 2009 - These past few days have been so busy. We have all been running in circles making plans for the funeral, trying to figure out Dad's filing system (good luck), visiting with family and friends and eating...and eating....and eating. It already seems so long ago that this whole thing happened but at the same time I'm not sure any of us really believe that it did. It's a strange feeling of just waiting to wake up and the bad dream will be over. But through it all, I am absolutely amazed at the love I feel FOR my family and friends as well as the love i feel FROM them. We went to the funeral home tonight to see Dad and have some time with our family. Although it was hard and very emotional, it was just as peaceful. The know that even though tomorrow, we will physically say "Goodbye" to Dad...emotionally and spiritually we will never have to let him go. He will be with us always only now, he can be with us all whenever and wherever we need him to be. I think everyone, at onme time or another, had the romantic notion of our own guardian angel but only now do I truly feel like I have mine. I guess this means I better be on my best behavior...*wink*

URL for Ted's Obituary

http://ads.heraldextra.com/obituaries/